How to teach your Nomicon to be cool
by Asiramx
Summary: A series of one shots on training the Nomicon to be cool and to fit in, will it work?
1. Chapter 1

** The Idea of Human! Nomicon belongs to the awesome Notnights.**

**Anyways, It's been awhile since I posted anything! Man, I really need to start writing again! XD**

* * *

"Honkin?" Human Nomicon tilts his head slightly in confusion, what does Honkin' even mean? And why does the Ninja say it a lot, it doesn't make sense to him, the things kids come up with these days, "What's a Honkin?"

The Nomicon twirls with his dark red hair waiting to receive a answer, his black eyes staring at the blue eyed Ninja with curiosity.

"It doesn't mean anything." Randy said frustrated; "Now you want me to teach you how to be cool or what?"

"As you wish Ninja; proceed."

"See? You're not going to get a girl by being so formal!" Randy said, "Now I want you to say Bruce."

"What is Bruce?" The Nomicon asks.

"It's another word for Cool."

The Nomicon scratches his head, confused. "Why can't you say cool instead of bruce? It doesn't make sense to me."

"Nothing makes sense to you."

The Nomicon sighs at Randy, "When you're stuck as a book every four years for 800 years it really does something to you, I apologize if I'm not up to your standards yet.

Randy gives him a rather sad look, he puts his hand on the Nomicon shoulders, he didn't mean to upset the Nomicon in anyway, though the Nomicon did ask for Randy to help him adjust to life here in Norrisville, it always seems to be hard to fit in. Though, The Ninja seems to be struggling to be "Cool" well according to his observations of the Ninja.

"I'm sorry Nomicon, if you want, we can continue tomorrow."

"No," The Nomicon locks eyes on the Ninja, "We must continue, I want to fit in to society and I will not stop until I accomplish this task."

Randy lets out a laugh, "You have a long way to go."

"Continue Ninja."

"Alright," Randy digs inside his backpack and gets out a black long sleeve shirt and throws it at the Nomicon, he catches it with ease, he observes the long sleeve shirt with interest.

"What do I do with it?"

Randy grins, "You put it on."

"With you in here?!"

Randy rolls his eyes in annoyance, "Alright, Alright. I'll leave."

Randy left the room; the Nomicon eyes the shirt curiously and puts it on.

The Nomicon takes off his red and black suit and carefully places it on the ground along with his cape; he is hesitant on leaving it behind. He grabs ancient clothing and puts it under the bed; he sighs and turns his attention to the long sleeve shirt.

Ten Minutes have passed and Randy became impatient, what is taking the Nomicon so long? It doesn't take this long to get dressed, Randy burst into his room to see the Nomicon struggling with his shirt; Randy bit his lip trying not to laugh at him.

"Here, let me help."

"I assure you I have this all under con-"

He is interrupted to see Randy fixing his long sleeve shirt, The Nomicon glances at Randy with a sincere smile, "Thank you, Ninja."

"Nomicon, please call me Randy."

"Randy..."

"Sup Cunningham!"

Randy smiles widens when he hears that voice.

The Nomicon frowns deeply at this.

It's _Howard._

Howard. Randy's idiot of a friend, the guy the Nomicon didn't trust, who could blame him? He almost revealed Randy's secret to everybody that one time and ever since then The Nomicon had a strong dislike for him, he doesn't approve of their friendship either, going as far as to say that Randy and Howard shouldn't be friends, but Randy stood his ground and told the Nomicon that Howard is a good friend and that there isn't anything he can do to stop him from being friends with Howard at this point.

"So bro, were going to the arcade or what?"

"YES! Let me get my hoodie and were out," Randy said as he turns away from his bros.

The Nomicon and Howard exchanges glances at one another, The Nomicon forms a glare on his face to which Howard soon enough returns the glare as well, Randy turns his attention back to his friends and smiles, The Nomicon's expression changes from a glare to a smile, he didn't want to upset Randy with this friendship nonsense, though he keeps his dislike towards Howard to himself.

"Alright let's go guys!" Randy grins happily.

"The Nomicon is coming with us?"

"Of course he is! I'm teaching him how to be cool."

Howard smirks at the Nomicon, "I would like to see that."

The trio set off for the arcade, this is going to be a long day for the Nomicon.

* * *

Did you like it?

Again, The Human Nomicon idea and design Belongs to NotNights.


	2. Chapter 2

**Valkyrie Thorne: I think you're following some other Nomicon Design, XD I'm basing this off of Notnights design of the Nomicon.**

**And an Update! Sweet!**

* * *

"Is there anything else I should know Randy?" The Nomicon asks.

"Just be cool." Randy replies as he enters the arcade, the arcade were swarming with children today due to the fact that it is Friday, Randy scans the area to see a whack-A-Mole machine, he grins and drags the Nomicon over to it, "Let's start with something easy."

Randy hands the hammer over to the Nomicon who stares at it confused, "What am I supposed to do with this?"

"Whack it."

The Nomicon blinks and begins whacking at the hole, Randy grins trying not to laugh.

"Not yet Nomi!"

The Nomicon winces at his pet name, not liking it one bit. He stops whacking the hole and turns his attention over to his apprentice.

"Then when?"

"When Howard comes back with the tokens."

"He is certainly taking his sweet time, isn't he?"

Just then, Howard comes back with a cup filled with tokens, Randy takes it and looks inside the cup, he looks back up and glares at his best bro, Half of the tokens are missing from the cup, there should have been a lot.

"Howard," Randy growls, "What happened to the rest of the coins?"

"I used them." Howard smiles sheepishly.

"On what?!"

"That," Howard pointed to the Dance Dance Revolution Machine, "You should have seen my totally Bruce dancing skills."

Randy rolls his eyes at him, "I bet I can beat you in that game."

"Too bad we can't find out, I used them all up."

Randy takes out three tokens and gives it to the Nomicon, The Nomicon observes it carefully and begins to bite on it, it earned him a weird look from both Randy and Howard, he stops biting on it and just observes it now, wondering what to do with it.

"Insert it in the slot." Randy said sensing his confusion, "It will start up the game."

The Nomicon puts in the coins, the lights to the machine lit up, Nomi grips tightly to the hammer and as soon as the mole pops up from his hole, he hits it with brutal force.

"Wow Nomi, calm down." Randy said.

Nomi continues to hit the moles; He is taking this game seriously, very seriously.

The game stops and the tickets begin flowing out of the machine; the Nomicon grabs it and rips it out.

"You can buy prizes with those tickets." Randy explains to him, "Well mostly candy."

"If you're going to buy candy, get me a mcsquiddle." Howard said.

"Not if your life depended on it, Weinerman." Nomi glares "Go buy your own candy."

"Dude, do you have another twenty or something?" Howard asks changing the subject, "We could totally play the dance dance revolution game and see who really has the dancing skills."

"I would, But-" Randy began to say, he pulled out the sockets from his pockets. He casts a glare at Howard. "But that was my last Twenty, Howard."

Whoops, My bad. Listen Cunningham I-"

"Hi Randy!"

The two boys turn his attention over to the source of the voice that interrupted them, a huge smile forms on Randy's face.

"Hello Theresa" Randy greets her, "How are you?"

"Fowler" Howard nods at her.

The purple haired girl smiles back at Randy, she blushes at Randy considering the fact that she has crush on him since middle school but has been too shy to tell him anything, she holds up a cup filled with tokens, "I have some spare tokens left, want to play?"

"I...I..." Randy looks at the Nomicon who had stopped playing his game, who is now observing Randy, he has an amused look on his face.

Howard nudges him to gain Randy's attention again.

"Oh right! Uh, Sure Theresa! That would be great!" Randy smiles, "Thanks I totally owe you one."

Theresa hands him the cup, Randy takes it and puts the Token in the slot.

"Alright bro! Let's do this!" Howard said as he approaches the stage, he felt a tug and is pulled backwards; Howard spins his head around to see who did that.

"Ladies first" The Nomicon said.

Howard grumbles.

Randy grabs Theresa hand, they began to dance. Theresa is dancing smoothly while Randy is struggling to catch up with her score, The game ended with Randy panting, his hands are on his knees.

"I...Totally...Let...You...Win..." Randy panted.

Theresa smirks, "Sure you did Randy."

"How wonk, you totally got pwned by a girl." Howard laughs.

"I sure did."

"I'm going to go." Theresa smiles, "I'm expected to be home soon, I was wondering if you would like to go out sometime? Just the two of us"

"Sure!"

"Cool!" She smiles and waves at Randy, "Goodbye!"

"Bye Theresa!" Randy waves back at her "See you soon!"

Randy turns his attention to his friends again, he grins at them. Going on a date with Theresa sounds so Bruce! He cannot wait for it, His first actual date with a girl, oh man; He hopes he doesn't screw this up.

Randy exchanges looks with the Nomicon, he smirks.

"And that is how you get a Girl, Nomicon."

The Nomicon simply rolls his eyes at him, "I Didn't know this was a lesson."


	3. Chapter 3

**The pet name Nomi has been surfing around the Randy Cunningham Tag for awhile so I don't take credit for it. XD**

**Anyways, I'm not too pleased with this chapter I should have added more description, but I lack it.**

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So how come you're not into girls, Nomi? " Randy asks quite curiously.

The Nomicon looks at Randy and gives him a simple shrug, "I'm not interested in humans, let alone girls. I am here to te ach you the ways of the Ninja, so what is on our next agenda?"

"Were going to buy you a jacket, shoes, and a MCpod." Randy said as heads into a store.

"What is an iPod?" Nomi asks,what is th is MCpod? He has heard Wienerman discuses it several times with Randy, it always confuses him. What are they talking about? And why is it so important to have one? He guesses he will soon find out, He watches Randy observe the Mcpod, it's tiny, and it comes in different colors , the red one catches his eyes.

"Randy..." He said as points to the small Mcpod, "I want that one."

"That one? The small one?"

The Nomicon nods.

"That's the Mcpod shuffle," Randy starts to explain, "It's not the latest thing right now, but if you want it, I'll let Howard buy it for you-"

"Wait," Nomi held up his hand and interrupted Randy, "Howard is buying this for me? Why can't you?"

Randy shrugs, he smiles sheepishly, "I don't have money; Howard does."

Nomi groans loudly in annoyance, great, Wienerman is buying all this stuff for him. He might have to repay him back somehow, much to his displeasure. Honestly , if Randy didn't have money why bother spending it on him? Though, Nomi is really grateful that Randy is going through all this trouble for him to fit him, he can't help but smile.

"Hey Howard! He wants the Mcpod shuffle. "

Howard turns around with the Mcpod touch in his hands, "Really? I was going with this." He holds up the Mcpod touch in front of Nomi's face, "It's the cheese."

"Not to me." Nomi replied.

"That's because you're outdated." Howard said.

"Let's take both," Randy smiles going be tween the two, "He can use both of them and see what he likes the best."

"Fine, But I'll pick out his head phones!"

"Fine!" Nomi says, "As long as it's red! "

Howard heads down to the section where they hold the headphones, he comes back with light red skull candy headphones, "Here" He gives the headphones to the N omi con, "It's all yours now."

"How much were they?" Randy looks at the headphones with envied look, "they look so bruce."

"Does it matter? I'm using my sisters cash, she has a lot of money for a 16 year old."

"Only you would you use your sister's hard earn money." Nomi retorted.

"That hard earn money was spent on you, so be grateful." Howard glares at him.

"Alright guys let's go."

* * *

Later they're at the shoe store browsing for shoes for Nomi, Howard picks out a black Mcjordans, Randy nods in approval, Randy approaches Nomi with the shoes in his hands.

"Ready?"

Nomi nods.

Nomi takes off his old worn out shoes that Randy had let him borrow, he grab black Mcjordans and begins to sniff it, why does it smell so good? Randy and Howard exchanges glance at each other.

"Nomi! People could be watching."

"Sorry, couldn't resist."

He puts his foot into the shoes and walks around with them, it's a perfect fit; he smiles as he walks around the store with them.

"I think he likes them." Randy says as he watches Nomi walking around with them.

Nomi sits on a bench and takes them off, "I like them." He puts them in a black box and hands it over to Randy, "I'll take them."

Randy turns his attention on his best bro, "You heard the man." Howards nods and gets out his sisters money out and goes to pay them.

"What are we doing after this?"

"Getting something to eat," Randy grabs his stomach, "I'm hungry and so is Howard."

"Food?" Nomi's face brightens at this, "I can't wait!

Howard reappears with a bag and hands it to Randy, "So are we going to eat or what? I really can't wait any longer."

* * *

**What? I love new shoe smell, I sniff it all the time . **


End file.
